Thoughts of a 20-Something Woman

If you've been hurt by the church...can I just say that I'm sorry? I'm sorry that you've been bullied. I'm sorry that you've been thrown out, kicked out, shut down, or pushed out. I'm sorry that you've been abused. Despite the ways that you've been treated by His followers, do you know that Jesus still wants you? He wants to use you.  He wants to know you.  He wants to love you. He wants to hold you.  He wants to cheer for you.  He wants to love you.  He's fighting for your heart and soul, even when His people won't. He's begging you to let Him pick you back up, brush off your knees, and press forward.  He wants to heal your hurt. He wants to fix your heart.  He wants to mend your wounds. He wants to stop the bleeding. Will there ever be a day when churches stop making people bleed ?  People are hurting, wounded and they come to the church to find acceptance, love, and healing.  Yet, far too often,...

You make me brave ---8,305 miles away from home. You make me brave ---flying in an airplane over the vast ocean. You make me brave ---in a culture that isn't my own. You make me brave ---to share the love of Christ around the world. You make me brave ---going into the unknown. The Lord has asked me to step out onto the waves. He has asked me to step outside of my comfort. He has asked me to face some of my fears. He has asked me to trust Him as I step out onto the waves. He has asked me to take a leap of faith in trusting Him to go overseas on a mission trip to Kenya, Africa.  Ever since I was a child, I have known that God was calling me to Africa. I've always felt the tug--the pull--toward the beautiful continent. A few years ago, I had the opportunity to go to Swaziland! But at the last minute, it was made clear that the Lord was not telling me to "go." He was telling me to "stay."  Stay and love. Stay and serve. Stay and be. St...

It's the eve of Finals Week and all through the house...Hayley was writing a blog instead of studying for her 8am final.... In the Fall of 2014, I started on an adventure. An adventure to Covenant Seminary. I was excited about the opportunity to receive my Master's in Counseling, to grow in community, to learn from great theologians. But... It only took about three weeks to start to realize that I was not in the right place. I didn't feel at home. It could have been the fact that I only really connected with about three other students. Everyone seemed to come to Seminary with a certain personality...a personality that I didn't have. It could have been the fact that I hated every book that I was being forced to read. I love to read....but I'm pretty sure these books were written to torture people.  It could have been the fact that I was being forced to read the Bible. It's like when your favorite book is Charlotte's Web, but the second your teacher t...

Have you ever just really missed someone? If so, then you know the feeling that I'm about to describe... The gut-wrenching feeling, the hole in the heart. When you think of a fond memory with the one that you miss and your breath is immediately taken from you. When someone mentions their name and your heart starts fluttering. It's a feeling that is almost hard to describe unless you've truly experienced it. But it's a real feeling Oh, it's unbelievably real. Sometimes, I question whether or not the everyday feelings that I experience are true. But missing someone? Oh that's a very real and raw reminder that my feelings are real and I am very much alive. Another thing that I've noticed about missing someone is that certain songs remind you of them. In fact, there are days where every single song that I listen to remind me of the one that I miss. Music seems to bring you back to certain places, certain moments, and certain memories. When I hear a son...

I’ve spent the last 3.5 years waiting for this moment. The moment that I can say I am just days away from graduating. What’s the rush to get out of college, you ask? Shouldn’t I soak in every great moment of college with all my friends and great sporting events before the "real world" kicks in? Well, chances are that your college experience was a little bit different than mine. You see, my experience in college wasn’t like the experience that most of my friends or family members had. I’m not going to walk out of college with a great, huge group of friends. I didn’t find my future husband. I am not going to leave with crazy memories of wild nights and wild parties. No, my college experience isn’t one that you’d see in theaters. But God has used my 3.5 years of college in ways that I never would’ve imagined. He used Freshman year to show me what having awesome, random Freshman roommates could be like. He used Freshman year to show me what staying up till 2:00 AM,...

I haven't had a lot of time to blog recently. Summer has started and has kicked into full gear. I thought that I was going to have a lot more free time than I did during the school year, but that assumption has proven to be wrong. I've spent a week in San Antonio. A week in Nashville. And I will be leaving for Marco Island, FL in 24 hours to spend a week there. In between all of my trips, I've had many coffee dates, meals, and events with my students. And in between all of that---I've been attempting to balance two online summer classes, so that I can graduate a semester early. My schedule is hectic, but I wouldn't have it any other way! Although, I wish that I had more time to blog! There have been many different times this summer when something will happen and I'll think---I need to blog about that! Or that would be a great topic for a blog! But they've all fallen short of an entry, since I never had the time to blog. Well, this topic just couldn't...

I've come to learn so much about my walk with Christ over the past year. How real, how genuine, how messy it can be. How I desire to walk through life in complete honesty and transparency with those around me. And how many people can't handle it. Most people won't be able to handle it. Because as Christians, we all talk a big talk regarding honesty and authenticity---until we realize how messy it is...and then we just prefer easy and we prefer perfection. We preach two different things . "Come to the church and be yourself completely!" But in the same breath, we say, "But don't be too honest! Or you won't fit in with us." We preach two different things . "Come to the church and expose your sin and mess. We won't judge!" But in the same breath, we say, "But if you could actually just put a nice bow on top of the sin to make it better, that'd be appreciated." We preach two different things . "Come to the ...