"Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got."

For those of you that listen to the Christian radio stations, you'll hear a common theme among some of the top songs. Forgiveness---by Matthew West. Losing---by Tenth Avenue North. Forgiveness---by TobyMac. I don't think that it's a coincidence. This isn't the typical post about how Christ has forgiven your sins---however that is the most important truth that you'll ever hear in your life. How Christ lived a perfect life, so that you wouldn't have to. How Christ died a painful death, so that you wouldn't have to. How Christ rose from the grave, and in doing so---set you free from all sin, all pain, all hurt, and all shame. If you haven't accepted the truth of Christ's forgiveness over your sin, then the rest of this blog may seem stupid. Irrelevant. Unbelievable. Why forgive others if you haven't realized how much you need forgiveness. So, this blog is for those that believe that Christ has forgiven them .This blog is for those that have been hurt by someone---hurt by the human condition of sin.

So often I am able to write blogs that are declaring the truths that God has so clearly spoken to my heart. I am able to share with you all that God has been showing me and teaching me. This blog is similar...but different. This blog is a plea to God that He would teach me the truths behind forgiving others. A plea that He would give me grace to "turn the other cheek." A plea that He would give me strength to love others, even after they've hurt me. A plea that He would give me peace when an apology is never spoken to me. A plea that He would help me accept an apology that I never got. A plea that He would help me to forgive---not 7 times---but 77 times.

I think it's interesting. Forgiving others is such a great and obvious concept, until you are the one having to forgive someone. It's easy to give others advice about the topic. "You just have to give it up to God." or "Forgiveness is a choice." Or the classic---"When you forgive someone, you aren't setting them free....you're setting yourself free." That's all such great advice, but a person doesn't just wake up one morning and say "I forgive you." And the deed is done. Or at least, I don't think it's possible. I wish it was possible. We have great intentions with that. Forgiveness is a choice, but it's also a heart change. It's being able to say "I forgive you. And I want the best for you." We have a tendency to want karma for the people that have hurt us. In our unforgiving hearts, we tend to say, "What goes around, comes around, baby!!" And that phrase becomes our motto for days. We don't understand why things happened the way that we did...and we get angry. We desire those to experience the same kind of pain that we've experienced. But that's not what Jesus teaches us. He teaches us that if someone slaps one cheek, we should turn and let them strike the other cheek. Was Jesus just kidding? I mean...if I get hit once, I'm not going to let myself get hit again. I'm smarter than that. We want to hit them back. We want them to know that they've hurt us. I think as humans we all have this desire to sit every person down that has ever hurt us and say "You hurt me. You left me broken. You didn't even care. You lied." ...but would that even do anything for us? We all want apologies from those that have hurt us. But, do we really need one? Would it really speed up the forgiving process? Sitting face to face with the person that hurt you and hearing "I'm sorry"...would it do anything? Does it take back the hurt? Does it take back the deed that hurt you? Does it take back the tears? The words "I'm sorry" don't heal you. Jesus heals you. Clinging to Christ--- in the midst of the hurt---that heals you. He puts His peace in your heart. He calms the storm around you. And all of a sudden---you don't need an "I'm sorry." An "I'm sorry" pales in comparison to His presence. I think that we get caught up in the "why, how, whens" of forgiveness, but we don't take the time to just rest in God's presence. If you aren't satisfied in Christ, you'll never be able to forgive others. If you don't understand how much Christ loves you and wants the best for you, you'll never be able to learn from the hurts of this life. Christ uses all things to make us perfect. After all...Christ is enough. His peace is enough. His grace is enough. His love is enough.

Christ will show you what it looks like to forgive. He'll show you what it looks like to love those that have slapped you---on both cheeks. He'll show you what it looks like to pray for those that have dishonored you. And you'll heal. Christ will heal you. You will move on. People will love you more than those that have hurt you. Joy will take the place of your pain. And one day...you'll wake up...and say "I've forgiven them."

And then you'll believe the truth: "Life becomes a lot easier when you learn to accept an apology that you never got."

And guess what? You don't need an apology. You need grace. And grace wasn't meant to be kept to yourself. Grace was meant to be extended to others...and all of a sudden, things will come full circle. We forgive because He first forgave us.
Colossians 3:13.

I love quotes. So, naturally...I can't leave you without one...

“Forgiveness is not about forgetting. It is about letting go of another person’s throat……Forgiveness does not create a relationship. Unless people speak the truth about what they have done and change their mind and behavior, a relationship of trust is not possible. When you forgive someone you certainly release them from judgment, but without true change, no real relationship can be established………Forgiveness in no way requires that you trust the one you forgive. But should they finally confess and repent, you will discover a miracle in your own heart that allows you to reach out and begin to build between you a bridge of reconciliation………Forgiveness does not excuse anything………You may have to declare your forgiveness a hundred times the first day and the second day, but the third day will be less and each day after, until one day you will realize that you have forgiven completely. And then one day you will pray for his wholeness."

In His love,