Thoughts of a 20-Something Woman

Tenth Avenue North is one of my favorite bands and they released a song a few years ago called "By Your Side." It's one of those songs that I've heard so many times, that the truth in it started to lose its impact. But today, this song was played during the high school sunday school class...and for the first time in a while, I felt God's voice speaking directly to my heart. I felt like He was asking me the questions in the song. I felt like He was singing truth to my heart. And I just wanted to weep in His arms. I just wanted to sit forever in that moment. I hope that as you read these lyrics and listen to this song...you feel the taping of the Lord on your heart and that you feel God wrap His arms around you.  "Why are you striving these days? Why are you trying to earn grace? Why are you crying ? Let me lift up your face. Just don't turn away. Why are you looking for love ? Why are you still searching  as if I&#

It's not Easter Sunday according to our calendars. However.... The tomb is still empty. Christ has risen! We've been set free from the power of sin! We can have relationship with God! Sometimes we get so caught up in our world and our life that we fail to reflect on the most precious and sweet news...the good news...the Gospel of Jesus Christ. My high school youth pastor, Stephen, used to always tell us to 'preach the Gospel to ourselves daily.' I always thought, "Daily? Ha. I can only handle one emotional "Gospel night" at camp once a summer, Stephen! You expect me to preach that to myself daily ?! You're cray." You know what I'm talking about....they turned off all the lights, they gave some really emotional talk, the music was incredible and sobering...a skit may have even been involved. You always knew that  night was coming at camp. It was probably my favorite night because it always reminded me of the hope that I have as a

God is giving me blessings that I do not deserve. I'm having difficulty accepting and experiencing the mystery of this grace. I am in complete awe that God would continue to bless me, even when I run away from His presence. Even when I dishonor His name. Even when I spit in His face. But because of the blood of Christ... God forgives. He draws me back to Him. God freely offers us a second chance. I love the truth that God gives us freedom to be obedient to Him. Before Jesus set us free,  we were enslaved to our sin. But now---every single day, we have the choice to walk away, to say no to temptation, and to declare the truth that: God is better than any sin or fleeting pleasure of this world.  He is the only One that can satisfy our hearts completely. I can't help but wonder...will I ever stop chasing things of this world to find satisfaction and peace? They fail every time. I just wish I could grasp and understand that truth and actually live according to it.

Over the past 24 hours, I have held five different people in my arms as they've wept for various different reasons. Over the past 24 hours, I have watched friends confess their secret sin and shame to feel some kind of relief from the burden they've been carrying all alone. Over the past 24 hours, I have watched hearts break. Over the past 24 hours, I have watched tears fall. Over the past 24 hours, I have seen my friends be extremely vulnerable. Over the past 24 hours, I have seen darkness overtake my friends. Over the past 24 hours, I have seen my friends question hope, question love, and question God. That's a lot to take in over a 24 hour period. There has been a lot of brokenness to begin to comprehend. There has a lot of pain to understand. There have been a lot of tears to wipe. There has been a lot of darkness to call out. There has been a lot of stories to be heard. There have been a lot of prayers that have been prayed. I am thankful for all that

There are some days where life feels chaotic. And then there are some weeks where life seems chaotic. Sometimes we experience  months  of chaos. Other times---it feels like the chaos has been going on since we were born and will probably never end. I'm not sure if I've been having a day filled with chaos, a week filled with chaos, a few months filled with chaos, or a couple years now. Honestly, I'm not keeping track. Life is chaotic. We can all agree with that statement. Depending on your stage of life, at this very moment,  you probably have homework to finish, kids to get ready for bed, dishes to clean, work to be done, or conversations to have. You're may already be in bed, but you're having a hard time falling asleep because you're remembering everything you have to do tomorrow.  Chaos fills our world. We have our own chaos. But we also have friends and family members with chaotic lives. And then they tell us about their chaotic lives and we freak out

I've been sick for the past two and a half days. There is nothing better than spending 48+ hours in a dorm room with episodes of Friends playing on repeat, saltine cracker crumbs on your bed, and gatorade and 7-up bottles thrown around the room. ...Actually, I can think of a lot more important things that needed to happen this week...Papers to write. Tests to study for. Dinners with students. Youth group events. Volleyball games to attend. Friends to see. Youth talks to plan. Books to read. Journaling that needs to happen. The list goes on for a while... But God has a way of slowing us down .  And this week...He did just that.  I have barely left my dorm room over the past 48 hours. I'm sick of staring at these walls. I'm sick of not having any motivation. I'm sick of being tired. I'm sick of being sick.  If you know me at all... you know that I like to be busy. I like to go...go...and go. I love  running back and forth between Lindenwood and Chesterfie

I re-opened my journal from last semester (January-June 2012). I was reflecting on all God had done in and through me, so I decided to journey into that journal. What I found...utterly shocked me. Page after page was filled with song lyrics such as these: "Empty my hands, fill up my heart, capture my mind with you." (Empty my Hands by Tenth Avenue North) "Empty me, so I can be filled with You." (Empty me by Chris Sligh) "Holy Fire, burn away my desire for anything that is not of You and is of me." (Empty me by Jeremy Camp) "Break through these walls I hide behind. Come break me down with your mercy again." (Break me Down by Tenth Avenue North) "Make me broken, so I can be healed" (Keep Making Me by Sidewalk Prophets) "I wanna feel like new, I wanna hunger for You. Bring me back to life, like only You can do. Cause I don't want to stay the same." (Rediscover You by Starfield) "I'm begging You to help me

For those of you that listen to the Christian radio stations, you'll hear a common theme among some of the top songs. Forgiveness---by Matthew West. Losing---by Tenth Avenue North. Forgiveness---by TobyMac. I don't think that it's a coincidence. This isn't the typical post about how Christ has forgiven your sins---however that is the most important  truth that you'll ever hear in your life. How Christ lived a perfect life, so that you wouldn't have to. How Christ died a painful death, so that you wouldn't have to. How Christ rose from the grave, and in doing so---set you free from all sin, all pain, all hurt, and all shame. If you haven't accepted the truth of Christ's forgiveness over your sin, then the rest of this blog may seem stupid . Irrelevant . Unbelievable . Why forgive others if you haven't realized how much you  need forgiveness. So, this blog is for those that believe that Christ has forgiven them .This blog is for those that have bee

I had an entire blog written about my summer. It was extremely long and extremely detailed. As I was proof-reading...I thought to myself---God's redemption, healing, grace and faithfulness can't be captured in a blog. So, I deleted it all. However...I will say this: God is more than enough for me. If I had to choose a theme song for my summer...it would be "Carry Me." If there is one thing you take from this blog---take the truths of this song and hide them in your heart--- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hy8y6dDzYcE In His love, HG

Warning: What I am about to say will probably offend a lot of people... But I am not here to please the world, but to please Christ.  There is a huge phenomenon sweeping our nation right now. It is filling countless people's minds with images that cannot be erased. The phenomenon is called Fifty Shades of Grey.  As a person that works with youth, I decided to check out the book after hearing many of my students and fellow friends talk about the book. As a youth worker, it is my responsibility to know what this generation of students are putting into their minds. So, I picked up the book and started reading. I was absolutely appalled. What I found were pages filled with inappropriate images of lust, bondage, and manipulation. Needless to say, I never finished reading the book. I respect my future husband too much to continue reading this book. I respect myself too much to continue reading this book. I respect Christ too much to continue reading this book. Here's

Oh wow. It has been quite a while since I last posted something. Life got super crazy. I moved into my home for the summer. My job kick-started. And I forgot all about this thing!  Guys---God is so ridiculously amazing. I cannot even begin to tell you all the incredible things that He is teaching me and showing me, but I shall try to convey it while catching you up on my life. 1) I feel like Job. You know...the guy from the Bible? Yeah...him. Recently, it feels as though God is letting Satan do everything in his power to try to drag me down. It's almost as though God is saying, "Hey Satan---take whatever you want away from Hayley. Do whatever you want. Say whatever you please. But watch out...she isn't who she used to be and watch---she won't move." And I haven't budged.  I haven't shifted . ...I don't say this to be prideful...I say this to show how amazingly strong GOD is. God is truly the one giving me strength to say no to temptation. God is

"I've come to believe that in everyone's life, there's one undeniable moment of change, a set of circumstances that suddenly alters everything." That quote comes from the book Safe Haven by Nicholas Sparks. Aka...the best book every written by him. A movie is coming out next February for it. If I could buy my ticket right now---I would. My "one undeniable moment of change" happened at the start of this summer...when all my plans came crumbling down in my hands. So, the past month has been a time full of tears , questions , doubt , hurt , pain , and loss . The past month has been a time of joy , peace , love , laughter , and surrender . A month full of growth . God is so good to me. He has been teaching me more than I could have ever asked for. He has healed me in ways that I never thought possible. He has shown me things that I would have never understood before. Obviously---this all came at a cost. Control has always been an idol for me. I've wan

I'm sitting in Starbucks. They have started to recognize me. I even got a discount on my drink today! I've been here for a few hours and I'm beginning to wonder if they are going to kick me out soon! I officially spend more time here than I spend anywhere else. I'm okay with that...I just wish the drinks were a little less expensive! On that note....There is a lot on my mind, but nothing that is worth sharing on this blog. Just a lot of unanswered questions. A lot of unexplained situations. A lot of unspoken words. But God is bigger---and I'm waiting on Him to bring everything together once again. A couple things to leave you with: 1) Check out my new favorite song :: 'This Love is free' by Hyland. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFgGx7HAK0U 2) One thing that I know without a doubt----God's love never fails, never gives up, never runs out on me. 3) As I've been watching people in Starbucks for four hours... (seriously. I told you that I li