"When life gets that much harder---it makes you that much stronger."
Oh wow. It has been quite a while since I last posted something. Life got super crazy. I moved into my home for the summer. My job kick-started. And I forgot all about this thing!
Guys---God is so ridiculously amazing. I cannot even begin to tell you all the incredible things that He is teaching me and showing me, but I shall try to convey it while catching you up on my life.
1) I feel like Job. You know...the guy from the Bible? Yeah...him. Recently, it feels as though God is letting Satan do everything in his power to try to drag me down. It's almost as though God is saying, "Hey Satan---take whatever you want away from Hayley. Do whatever you want. Say whatever you please. But watch out...she isn't who she used to be and watch---she won't move." And I haven't budged. I haven't shifted. ...I don't say this to be prideful...I say this to show how amazingly strong GOD is. God is truly the one giving me strength to say no to temptation. God is truly the one giving me the heart to want to pray when I would rather curse. God is the One showing me how to love when I feel like holding bitterness in my heart. God is the One giving me peace when everything else is falling apart. God is the One helping me laugh, when I have every reason to cry. God is the One teaching me how to be joyful in all circumstances. God is the One teaching me what it looks like to be a strong woman of God. God is the only thing that makes sense in my life right now. He is the only steady One. He doesn't change. He doesn't stop loving. He doesn't stop teaching. He doesn't stop pursuing. I am so thankful that I serve a God that never stops pursuing my heart. I constantly feel Him tugging at my heart from the moment I get up in the morning---till the moment I lay down at night. Things in my life may not make sense right now. Things in my life may be extremely hard right now. There are moments of extreme loneliness. There are moments of extreme pain. There are moments of intense questioning. There are many, many moments when I ask myself..."Is this real life?" But it is real life. The pain is real. The doubt is real. The questions are real. ...But my God is real...and He is bigger than anything I faced last week...and He is bigger than anything I will face tomorrow. So, I say "Satan, I have a Savior who is as strong, as you are weak. Come at me, bro." And I thank God that Genesis 50:20 is true... "Satan intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done."
2) I have officially started my job. I'm a big kid. It's seriously crazy. I have my own office. I have my own work mailbox. I have my own work email. I have my own church key. I go to staff meetings. I am beyond blessed. The staff that I work with are such an encouragement to me. They build me up. They make me laugh. They are just so, so wonderful. I couldn't ask for better staff to serve alongside. ...The students that I work with are amazing. They are eager to learn. They are eager to laugh. They are eager to hang out with me---which is great because that's the point of my job. :) I am developing some amazing relationships with the ladies. I have started a small group with them called Chick-Chat. We meet once a week and we are going through Proverbs 31. We are talking about what it means to be a strong woman of God. We have talked about our worth in Christ and that should change the way we act, think, and speak. I am truly praying that God works in the girls' hearts and minds through this small group. I desperately desire to see them finding their identity in Christ---and not in beauty, relationships, popularity, or grades....Lastly, I am just beyond grateful that God has entrusted me with this job and with these students. It is the perfect job for me. I literally just get to hang out with students and be relational with them. I get to pursue them (whether they want me to or not!). It's a perfect job for my personality. It's almost like God knew what He was doing or something. :)
3) As I said earlier, there have been moments where I ask "Is this real life?" I'm serious. I think God has my life on a big screen in heaven and everyone just gets a kick out of the things that happen in my life. I've experienced things this summer such as---people on toilets in random gas stations needing help, having to watch fireworks on the side of the highway with my blanket because of a traffic jam, showing up at a flea market only to find out that it had been raided and shut down the day before, finding dog museums, horseflies flying into my car, the lights going out while I'm in the shower--the list literally goes on and on. Every day I wake up--and just expect a new adventure! I apologize to whoever I am hanging out with that day and tell them not to be alarmed when strange things happen. It's to be expected. Why do I share this? Well 1. because I want you to see that God has a sense of humor. 2. to show you that my life is absolutely crazy this summer. I have no idea what God is up to. I think half of these things are tests....while others are just to make me laugh :) These situations are obviously God-orchestrated. I just get a kick out of my life. It keeps me entertained. :)
4) Today is July 4th. The day that we celebrate our nation's freedom. I decided to take a slightly different approach to this day. I still celebrated our nation's freedom and all the people that have fought and continue to fight for that freedom. However, I decided to focus more on the freedom that Christ bought for me with His blood. All day I couldn't help but thank God for FREEDOM. Freedom to sing. Freedom to dance. Freedom to be joyful. Freedom to love. Freedom to laugh. Freedom to jump. Freedom to live life fully. Freedom to worship Him. Freedom to live without any strongholds. ....Without Jesus' blood, without Jesus shattering my life and rebuilding it all---I would still be living in sin. I would still be living in bondage. I would still be defined by my past. I would still be weighed down by all my baggage. ...But freedom is real. Jesus has saved me. Sin is defeated. He has freed me. I am truly living in freedom. Not because life is easy right now---but because freedom is real. Nothing is holding me back from living in that freedom. So today---when the fireworks went off--I saw them as a huge celebration of the fact that I have been set free...and all of Heaven rejoices when even one Sinner is set free. Freedom is my favorite word.
I barely touched on everything going on in my life right now...but God is up to something. I don't know the point to all the chaos---but I have seen my faith grow in ways that I never thought possible. I have never felt more lost, confused, or hurt than I have this summer. But God is up to something. I have changed so much in the past month and a half--- and I literally fall on my face before God in thankfulness for all He's done. He is teaching me to be a strong woman who follows Him with everything she has---with nothing holding me back. He is teaching me how to love others. He is teaching me how to forgive those who have hurt me. He is teaching me how to be patient. He is teaching me how to lead. He is teaching me what it means to follow. He is teaching me what servanthood looks like. He is showing me what humility looks like. He is showing me what grace is. He is literally ROCKING my world. The place where I find my strength is in His word. The place where I find peace is in His presence. The place where I find rest is in His arms. He is my everything. For the first time in my life---I am able to speak these truths and believe in my heart, mind, and soul---to the deepest parts of my heart---that they are true.
In one of my favorite songs by Carrie Underwood---she sings, "When life gets that much harder, it makes you that much stronger." That statement could not be more true. God is refining me. God is molding me. God is shaping me. God is making me strong in Him. Even in my weaknesses, He is making me strong. It hasn't been easy. It hasn't been fun. But it has been worth it. God has taught me that I need nothing and no one except Him. There have been moments where I have been extremely lonely this summer---but I have never felt more complete or whole. God is truly enough for me. He is more than enough for me.
In His grip,
Hayley Garr
Guys---God is so ridiculously amazing. I cannot even begin to tell you all the incredible things that He is teaching me and showing me, but I shall try to convey it while catching you up on my life.
1) I feel like Job. You know...the guy from the Bible? Yeah...him. Recently, it feels as though God is letting Satan do everything in his power to try to drag me down. It's almost as though God is saying, "Hey Satan---take whatever you want away from Hayley. Do whatever you want. Say whatever you please. But watch out...she isn't who she used to be and watch---she won't move." And I haven't budged. I haven't shifted. ...I don't say this to be prideful...I say this to show how amazingly strong GOD is. God is truly the one giving me strength to say no to temptation. God is truly the one giving me the heart to want to pray when I would rather curse. God is the One showing me how to love when I feel like holding bitterness in my heart. God is the One giving me peace when everything else is falling apart. God is the One helping me laugh, when I have every reason to cry. God is the One teaching me how to be joyful in all circumstances. God is the One teaching me what it looks like to be a strong woman of God. God is the only thing that makes sense in my life right now. He is the only steady One. He doesn't change. He doesn't stop loving. He doesn't stop teaching. He doesn't stop pursuing. I am so thankful that I serve a God that never stops pursuing my heart. I constantly feel Him tugging at my heart from the moment I get up in the morning---till the moment I lay down at night. Things in my life may not make sense right now. Things in my life may be extremely hard right now. There are moments of extreme loneliness. There are moments of extreme pain. There are moments of intense questioning. There are many, many moments when I ask myself..."Is this real life?" But it is real life. The pain is real. The doubt is real. The questions are real. ...But my God is real...and He is bigger than anything I faced last week...and He is bigger than anything I will face tomorrow. So, I say "Satan, I have a Savior who is as strong, as you are weak. Come at me, bro." And I thank God that Genesis 50:20 is true... "Satan intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done."
2) I have officially started my job. I'm a big kid. It's seriously crazy. I have my own office. I have my own work mailbox. I have my own work email. I have my own church key. I go to staff meetings. I am beyond blessed. The staff that I work with are such an encouragement to me. They build me up. They make me laugh. They are just so, so wonderful. I couldn't ask for better staff to serve alongside. ...The students that I work with are amazing. They are eager to learn. They are eager to laugh. They are eager to hang out with me---which is great because that's the point of my job. :) I am developing some amazing relationships with the ladies. I have started a small group with them called Chick-Chat. We meet once a week and we are going through Proverbs 31. We are talking about what it means to be a strong woman of God. We have talked about our worth in Christ and that should change the way we act, think, and speak. I am truly praying that God works in the girls' hearts and minds through this small group. I desperately desire to see them finding their identity in Christ---and not in beauty, relationships, popularity, or grades....Lastly, I am just beyond grateful that God has entrusted me with this job and with these students. It is the perfect job for me. I literally just get to hang out with students and be relational with them. I get to pursue them (whether they want me to or not!). It's a perfect job for my personality. It's almost like God knew what He was doing or something. :)
3) As I said earlier, there have been moments where I ask "Is this real life?" I'm serious. I think God has my life on a big screen in heaven and everyone just gets a kick out of the things that happen in my life. I've experienced things this summer such as---people on toilets in random gas stations needing help, having to watch fireworks on the side of the highway with my blanket because of a traffic jam, showing up at a flea market only to find out that it had been raided and shut down the day before, finding dog museums, horseflies flying into my car, the lights going out while I'm in the shower--the list literally goes on and on. Every day I wake up--and just expect a new adventure! I apologize to whoever I am hanging out with that day and tell them not to be alarmed when strange things happen. It's to be expected. Why do I share this? Well 1. because I want you to see that God has a sense of humor. 2. to show you that my life is absolutely crazy this summer. I have no idea what God is up to. I think half of these things are tests....while others are just to make me laugh :) These situations are obviously God-orchestrated. I just get a kick out of my life. It keeps me entertained. :)
4) Today is July 4th. The day that we celebrate our nation's freedom. I decided to take a slightly different approach to this day. I still celebrated our nation's freedom and all the people that have fought and continue to fight for that freedom. However, I decided to focus more on the freedom that Christ bought for me with His blood. All day I couldn't help but thank God for FREEDOM. Freedom to sing. Freedom to dance. Freedom to be joyful. Freedom to love. Freedom to laugh. Freedom to jump. Freedom to live life fully. Freedom to worship Him. Freedom to live without any strongholds. ....Without Jesus' blood, without Jesus shattering my life and rebuilding it all---I would still be living in sin. I would still be living in bondage. I would still be defined by my past. I would still be weighed down by all my baggage. ...But freedom is real. Jesus has saved me. Sin is defeated. He has freed me. I am truly living in freedom. Not because life is easy right now---but because freedom is real. Nothing is holding me back from living in that freedom. So today---when the fireworks went off--I saw them as a huge celebration of the fact that I have been set free...and all of Heaven rejoices when even one Sinner is set free. Freedom is my favorite word.
I barely touched on everything going on in my life right now...but God is up to something. I don't know the point to all the chaos---but I have seen my faith grow in ways that I never thought possible. I have never felt more lost, confused, or hurt than I have this summer. But God is up to something. I have changed so much in the past month and a half--- and I literally fall on my face before God in thankfulness for all He's done. He is teaching me to be a strong woman who follows Him with everything she has---with nothing holding me back. He is teaching me how to love others. He is teaching me how to forgive those who have hurt me. He is teaching me how to be patient. He is teaching me how to lead. He is teaching me what it means to follow. He is teaching me what servanthood looks like. He is showing me what humility looks like. He is showing me what grace is. He is literally ROCKING my world. The place where I find my strength is in His word. The place where I find peace is in His presence. The place where I find rest is in His arms. He is my everything. For the first time in my life---I am able to speak these truths and believe in my heart, mind, and soul---to the deepest parts of my heart---that they are true.
In one of my favorite songs by Carrie Underwood---she sings, "When life gets that much harder, it makes you that much stronger." That statement could not be more true. God is refining me. God is molding me. God is shaping me. God is making me strong in Him. Even in my weaknesses, He is making me strong. It hasn't been easy. It hasn't been fun. But it has been worth it. God has taught me that I need nothing and no one except Him. There have been moments where I have been extremely lonely this summer---but I have never felt more complete or whole. God is truly enough for me. He is more than enough for me.
In His grip,
Hayley Garr
Comments