Word Vomit

It's nearly been a year since I last posted on this lovely blog. I'm not normally one to be "well with my words." I am, however, good at word vomit. So, that's what I will do today. Word Vomit.
So many things have been on my mind recently. As the song "Fragile" by Maria Mena says... "I think I have a problem, I think I think too much." It's true. I have thoughts running through my mind 24/7. Even my dreams seem to have "hidden meanings."
So what's on my mind? Should I stop beating around the bush? Is anyone even reading this? Does that even matter?
I have a lot of good friends. Friends that challenge, correct, and steer me towards Jesus. Thank goodness. But these friends really know me. And I don't mean they "know my parents names and my favorite color." No. I mean, they know even the deepest darkest secret that I thought I would never tell anyone. Ever. But they broke through. That's not a usual occurance in my life. Someone breaking through my walls? Heck no. The fact that multiple people at college have broken through? They must be pretty legit. They must be overflowing with Jesus. And they must be people I can actually trust. The more you share, the more you can be hurt. People leave. People always seem to leave. And that hurts. This life hurts. This stupid broken world hurts. I just want Eden. Don't we all? Perfect serenity. That'd be lovely.
What else is on my mind? Springhill Summer Camp in Michigan. Don't know what that is? Look it up. It's the job that God has blessed me with for this summer. June 5-August 20 in Michigan with people that I've never met. I'm going to be a camp counselor for teens in grades 9th-12th. 9th-12th grade? Am I actually equipped to do this? High school students are usually going through some of the hardest times. It's scary to think that God would trust me to care, love on, and show Him to these students this summer. It's a blessing, but it won't be easy.
My sister is getting married. You know...the white dress, wedding bells, wedding march type thing. Married to her best friend. How lovely is that? It's a beautiful thing. And yet, I'm sad. No more will she be living under my same roof. Change sucks.
But not all change sucks... you know...like how caterpillars turn into butterflies? Or when the dull winter turns into vibrant spring? That type of change is really good. I can handle that type of change.
So, that's the sum of my life.
I don't like change.
My sister is getting married.
I'm going to be gone for three months this summer.
My friends have touched my heart.
People leave.
Life sucks.
Change can be beautiful?
This post is too complicated. I shall figure it out another day. Until then...
Peace and Blessings.

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