Why Christians Suck. (Written by a Christian)

I've come to learn so much about my walk with Christ over the past year. How real, how genuine, how messy it can be. How I desire to walk through life in complete honesty and transparency with those around me. And how many people can't handle it. Most people won't be able to handle it. Because as Christians, we all talk a big talk regarding honesty and authenticity---until we realize how messy it is...and then we just prefer easy and we prefer perfection.

We preach two different things.
"Come to the church and be yourself completely!"
But in the same breath, we say, "But don't be too honest! Or you won't fit in with us."
We preach two different things.
"Come to the church and expose your sin and mess. We won't judge!"
But in the same breath, we say, "But if you could actually just put a nice bow on top of the sin to make it better, that'd be appreciated."
We preach two different things.
"Come to the church and be open with us!"
But in the same breath, we say, "But if you deal with any of those particularly messy sins. We may have to have extra prayer sessions. For example: pride, cheating, and lying are all okay. But please steer clear of mentioning sins such as: pornography, homosexuality, or abortion. We'd prefer that you leave those out of the picture."

What a crappy thing that Christians do.
We preach two different messages. And then we wonder why our hurting world is so confused about who this Jesus really is.
And I'm not afraid to say it...Christians suck because of it.


A Christian sister once told me that I was unwilling to walk towards the cross with her.
She was not only attacking me, but attacking my walk with Christ.
A few weeks later Satan was trying to use that against me, but then in a moment of revelation, I realized an important truth.
I don't want to simply walk towards the cross. I realized that I want to drag my broken, battered, sinful body to the cross. I want to approach the cross---beat up, bruised, broken, battered. I want to approach the cross with nothing left to give and nothing left that I'm holding onto. I don't want to approach the cross with a brisk walk, showing Christ how much I've done to clean myself up and fix myself. I want to humbly and honestly approach the cross of Christ in a state of woundedness. Because it is only in that state where Christ will walk towards me, pick me up, and clean me completely and deeply.

It has been within the last year that I have fallen in love with this authentic self that God has given to me. I used to hide. I used to run. I used to try to be someone that I wasn't. But since I have started to embrace who I am and where I am at---I have lost friends. I have lost dear friends. I have lost Christian friends. But I wouldn't change who God has created me to be, just to try and win them back. And I don't believe that God would want me to either.

I pray that I am a Christian that truly accepts and loves everyone, no matter if they are struggling with pride. Or struggling with a divorce. Or if they've committed murder. Or if they've cheated on a test. Or if they are in habitual sin. Or if they've kicked a dog. I pray that I am the type of Christian where people can come to me---with wounds open---with burdens revealed---with sins exposed---and unashamedly say to me, "Hayley, this is who I am. This is where I am at." And I pray, by the grace of God, that I can say to them, "Amazing. I love you for where you are at. Right now. Not for who I want you to be...but who you are right now. And God is doing something beautiful. And I can't wait to watch what He does in you."

Because I believe that it is in those honest and vulnerable moments where God finally looks at us and says, "Daughter/Son of mine---Thank you for finally being honest with yourself and with Me. Thank you for being authentic. I know where you are at. I see you in your darkest moments. I see you in your brightest days. You don't have to pretend to be someone that you aren't. I love you. Let's keep walking together."

The past year has been one of difficulty and confusion.
But I have learned much about my walk with Christ and the type of Christ-follower that I want to be.
It's not common. And it's not pretty. And unfortunately, it's not always acceptable in the church.
But I believe that is who Christ has called me to be.

Authentic. Honest. Vulnerable. Real. Messy. Broken. Beautiful. Saved. Forgiven.

Christians suck because we talk a big talk about living in community and being open with one another---but when push comes to shove, we can't handle it. We run away from the mess. We run away from anyone that doesn't seem to love Christ as much as we do. We run away from anyone that doesn't seem has holy as we do.
If you are a Christian and want to live an authentic life---be prepared for it to cost you everything. It has already cost me so much. But I wouldn't change a thing.
Because I believe that this world needs more Christ-Followers that are authentic. Honest. Vulnerable. Real. Messy. Broken. Beautiful. Saved. Forgiven. And who aren't afraid to say that they are all of these things at the same time. 

I pray that my students would see those qualities in me. And I pray that my family and friend would see those qualities in me. And I pray that a watching, broken world would see those qualities in me.
And that all those people would see Christ working through me.

I'm not perfect. I suck. Just like all Christians do.
But I believe that God has given me a testimony that gives me the opportunity to truly love the unloveable like He does. To truly love the mess, like He does. To truly embrace authenticity, like He does.


In His love,
HG