7x70
The past year of my life---I've been walking down a road that I never thought that I was going to be walking down. The long road to forgiveness.
Over the past year, I've been betrayed, used, and cast out from those that used to be so close to my heart. Things have been said to me that can never be unsaid. Things have been done to me that can never be undone. People have accused me of things that they had no right to be the judge of.
And all of these situations have left me with broken pieces to clean up on my own.
Satan's lies were thrust at me from every angle.
"Why aren't you a better Christian?"
"Why can't you fix yourself faster?"
"If you could just fix yourself, people wouldn't leave you."
"You'll never be good enough."
"You'll never be worthy of true love."
And then in Satan's crescendo he says to me, "Look at all the proof that I have against you!"
...People leave you. People stop loving you. People walk away from you. Something is clearly wrong with you...
And so, in the midst of the chaos of life. People changing. People leaving. People changing their definition of love in order to better fit their own needs. I have been forced to come face to face with this thing called forgiveness. With this word that bears so much weight in God's word.
What a beautiful opportunity that God has given me to learn more about forgiving like He has forgiven.
I am thankful that He has shown me bits and pieces of His heart regarding forgiveness.
One of the most comforting things that God has shown me during this hard time came about during Holy Week. On Maundy Thursday---the night where Jesus was betrayed with a kiss by one of his very best friends. I received so much comfort from the Lord that week. He whispered into my heart, "I know how you feel. I've been betrayed too. People left me too. People deserted me too. I forgave them. I willingly died and suffered in order to forgive them. I know how you feel and I alone can comfort you."
It was in this very special Holy Week that God started to impress upon my heart this word of forgiveness. I truly believe that forgiveness is a day by day choice. A choice that I make every single day in the most secret parts of my heart. And only God alone can judge me. Only God can judge if I have forgiven those that have harmed me.
Most days---it's a struggle. I think it is so fitting that Tenth Avenue North wrote a song about forgiveness on their "The Struggle" album. It just shows that forgiveness falls under the category of a struggle. And it has been a struggle for me. The amount of hurt, pain, and questioning that has been given to me at the hands of my very best friends is unmatched by any pain that I've ever experienced. But the Lord keeps reminding me---7x70.
Every day, I wake up and face the people that have left scars on my heart.
But with Christ's power, encouragement and help---I am able to forgive.
Forgive them because Christ has forgiven me.
Forgive them because the thing I find most amazing in amazing grace---is the chance to give it out. Maybe that's what love is all about.
"Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember .We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future."
I'm praying for you. Because I believe that I'm not the only one struggling with walk down the long road to forgiveness. May the Lord give you (and I) the grace to forgive those that have hurt us so deeply.
In His love,
HG
Over the past year, I've been betrayed, used, and cast out from those that used to be so close to my heart. Things have been said to me that can never be unsaid. Things have been done to me that can never be undone. People have accused me of things that they had no right to be the judge of.
And all of these situations have left me with broken pieces to clean up on my own.
Satan's lies were thrust at me from every angle.
"Why aren't you a better Christian?"
"Why can't you fix yourself faster?"
"If you could just fix yourself, people wouldn't leave you."
"You'll never be good enough."
"You'll never be worthy of true love."
And then in Satan's crescendo he says to me, "Look at all the proof that I have against you!"
...People leave you. People stop loving you. People walk away from you. Something is clearly wrong with you...
And so, in the midst of the chaos of life. People changing. People leaving. People changing their definition of love in order to better fit their own needs. I have been forced to come face to face with this thing called forgiveness. With this word that bears so much weight in God's word.
What a beautiful opportunity that God has given me to learn more about forgiving like He has forgiven.
I am thankful that He has shown me bits and pieces of His heart regarding forgiveness.
One of the most comforting things that God has shown me during this hard time came about during Holy Week. On Maundy Thursday---the night where Jesus was betrayed with a kiss by one of his very best friends. I received so much comfort from the Lord that week. He whispered into my heart, "I know how you feel. I've been betrayed too. People left me too. People deserted me too. I forgave them. I willingly died and suffered in order to forgive them. I know how you feel and I alone can comfort you."
It was in this very special Holy Week that God started to impress upon my heart this word of forgiveness. I truly believe that forgiveness is a day by day choice. A choice that I make every single day in the most secret parts of my heart. And only God alone can judge me. Only God can judge if I have forgiven those that have harmed me.
Most days---it's a struggle. I think it is so fitting that Tenth Avenue North wrote a song about forgiveness on their "The Struggle" album. It just shows that forgiveness falls under the category of a struggle. And it has been a struggle for me. The amount of hurt, pain, and questioning that has been given to me at the hands of my very best friends is unmatched by any pain that I've ever experienced. But the Lord keeps reminding me---7x70.
Every day, I wake up and face the people that have left scars on my heart.
But with Christ's power, encouragement and help---I am able to forgive.
Forgive them because Christ has forgiven me.
Forgive them because the thing I find most amazing in amazing grace---is the chance to give it out. Maybe that's what love is all about.
"Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember .We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future."
I'm praying for you. Because I believe that I'm not the only one struggling with walk down the long road to forgiveness. May the Lord give you (and I) the grace to forgive those that have hurt us so deeply.
In His love,
HG
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