Healing is found in the most unexpected places.

"Real life is a funny thing, you know. In real life, saying the right thing at the right moment is beyond crucial. So crucial, in fact, that most of us start to hesitate for fear of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. But lately what I've begun to fear more than that, is letting the moment pass without saying anything. I think you deserve to look back on your life without this chorus of resounding voices saying, 'I could've but it's too late now'. So there's a time for silence, and there's a time for waiting your turn. But if you know how you feel, and you so clearly know what you need to say, you'll know it. I don't think you should wait. I think you should speak now." -Taylor Swift

Thank you, T-Swift for those words of inspiration. Too often in my life I have held back from saying what's on my heart and on my mind for fear of getting hurt. What I've realized is that in this attempt to protect myself, I ended up destroying myself. I lost people that I love. I lost sight of my dreams. I lost sight of truth. I lost sight of love. I lost sight of hope. I lost sight of beauty. I lost sight of the abundant life that God offered me when I first asked Him into my heart.
"Moreover, our addictions are our own worst enemies. They enslave us with chains that are of our own making and yet that, paradoxically, are virtually beyond our control. Addiction also makes idolators of us all, because it forces us to worship these objects of attachment, thereby preventing us from truly, freely loving God and one another."

My sin had taken over my life. Not in the way that I was used too. It came up from behind me. My friends saw it before I ever did. I was so blinded by my pride and selfishness. I was trying to take control. I didn't trust God to protect me, because I didn't think He had done a successful job of that in the past. So I took matters into my own hands. I tried to protect myself in the only way I knew how---shutting others out and worrying only about myself. All of the mechanisms that I thought were going to save me...only ended up causing me to drown in my own little world. I was trying to control everything, but as we all know---a drowning person has absolutely no control. A drowning person cannot save herself. Someone was going to need to come in and rescue me from myself.


....Sometimes it takes being completely broken, in order to be completely healed.

I've been begging God for over a year to "heal my heart." I had no idea what that was going to look like, but I knew that He promised in His word to heal me. However, I didn't expect healing to come like it has. Over the past three weeks, I have been completely broken. God came into my heart and wrecked everything that I once knew. He tore down any walls that were left standing. He destroyed all of my built up pride. He forced open my hands and helped me let go of the things that I wouldn't release. He rid me of my selfishness. He helped me face things that I didn't want to face. All of this didn't really feel like "healing was in process." But in all the pain, beauty was found. He has taught me how to feel again. He has taught me what it means to love. He has restored my sense of hope. He has helped me come alive. He has restored my ability to trust Him and others. He has shown me that He never fails. He has given me the opportunity to truly live out the truths that I confess on a daily basis. ....God's love has healed me in ways that I can't express.

"I need You like a hurricane. Thunder crashing, wind and rain---to tear my walls down. I'm only Yours now. I need You like a burning flamea---a wild fire untamed---to burn these walls down. I'm only Yours now. I am Yours and You are mine. You know far better than I and if destruction's what I need. Then I'll receive it Lord from Thee." ---Hurricane, by Jimmy Needham


God will never destruct something that He won't rebuild better than it was before.


In His grip,
HG